I have spent a lot of time thinking about this past year and trying to decide what my word for 2018 would be. That’s when I realized I never picked a word for 2017. I’m not sure I could have come up with a word that would have fully encompassed all that 2017 has held. It started with so much uncertainty: Physically—was I ever going to make significant progress in getting stronger and reclaiming some of the vitality I used to have? Professionally: Would I truly be able to write a full length book again? Did I even remember HOW to write a book? And then personally, was I ever going to stabilize and feel like ME again.I had no words, only questions. Maybe that was my word for 2017—simply a ?
The year held many things—some sad, some harrowing, some discouraging. But it also held great joy and progress and hope and lots and lots of baby steps.
My father in law passed away after a long struggle with Alzheimers.
My son got married to a wonderful girl whom we adore.
My other son found a job a career tailor made for him where he is happy and challenged and is able to make a contribution.
Not only did I remember how to write, but I wrote six drafts of the longest flippin’ book I have ever written.
Wildfires raged through the area, evacuating tens of thousands—including us—and came far, far closer to our house than we would have wished.
And then, on Winter Solstice, my stepfather of 35 years passed away.
So many goodbyes, but so many new beginnings as well, proving that life is nothing if not change.
Finally, just this morning I settled on my 2018 word: Embrace. Even as the word slipped into my consciousness, I saw all the ways it would apply. Embracing change was simply the beginning.
Embrace—to hold close, to pull towards oneself, to accept or support, to include.
As 2017 drew to a close, I found myself longing to do precisely those things.
Embrace myself. My weaknesses. And yes, my strengths.
Embrace my limitations, not as a way of giving up, but in an act of radical acceptance that will allow me to find ways to thrive in spite of those limitations.
Embrace my wildly disorganized and messy writing process.
Embrace others. Even those I disagree with or struggle to understand.
Embrace new experiences and challenges, something I have shied away from for the last couple of years.
I find I am even open to embracing conflict, not because I have suddenly changed into a combative person, but because I am beginning to see just how big an opportunity for growth it truly is.
I want to embrace even the ugly stuff—professional envy or personal resentments—and use them as opportunities to transform the way I think or approach those people or situations.
I want to embrace those I love and let them know how much they mean to me. I want to embrace and foster the friendships and connections that have languished the last few years while radical self care had to be my top priority.
The cool thing is, by embracing that self care and honoring my physical and emotional needs (aided by a body that wouldn’t let me do anything else) I have come full circle, back to where I am eager to embrace all the things I once had to jettison. I cannot tell you how much joy just typing that sentence brings me.
Embrace. The word conjures up love and nurturing and acceptance. It’s a big word for a big gesture—far more encompassing than a hug. And of longer duration.
It is a way to say yes to life in a way I have missed greatly.
So that is the true north I am setting this year’s compass to. What about you guys? Do you have words you have chosen for 2018? Is there anything you hope to embrace in the coming year?
Welcome. I'm Robin LaFevers.